JIGSAW
by Iland Girl
Summary: "We're like a tye dye puzzle, none of the colours match up. But the pieces somehow fit perfectly together. Your crazy matches my crazy." Wade looked over to her and smiled. He never thought it would got his well. Which was the universe's sign that shit was about to hit the fan. Hard. (Highly over sexualized and dramatic with a splash of crude humor)
1. Chapter 1

**..**

 **JIGSAW**

 _'for those who can't find love. Fuck love, find crazy, your kind of crazy, and run with it.'_

 _Deadpool Copyright by Marvel (Obviously)_

 _Jigsaw Copyright (not really) by Iland Girl_

* * *

 **Chapter 1**

* * *

It was a normal day at Sister Margaret's and Weasel couldn't have been crankier about it. Kelly was sick and their newest employee spent more time bidding favours than actually working. He was at the end of his rope trying to get the broad to do her damn job when a new patron walked into the bar.

She was small, barely over five feet tall, with enough curly locks to clothe an orphanage if you could get through the disarray. She looked meek, shy. Weasel immediately questioned why she was there. Yet the woman marched up to the bar, her eyes hard and practically peeling his skin off with how sharply she looked at him.

"Welcome, what can I get ya?" Weasel asked as he filled up two pints for Jones seated next to the blonde.

"I hear you're hiring, and I'm looking for a job." The woman said, resting her arms on the counter as she leaned in to Weasel. He barely heard her over the noise, but her low voice didn't match her tiny frame. He slid the drinks down the bar as he came closer to her.

"Got any experience serving?" He asked, eying her hipster look of denim and plaid. He was cringing already. Didn't matter how hot she was, he definitely didn't want any millennial shits waltzing around this bar.

"Nope, but I'm a quick study." She said, not shaken in the slightest when he turned away to continue making drinks.

"Sorry, no can do princess. Maybe try the coffee shop on the corner, or a library." Weasel said as he continued his work. Jones picked this time to open his damn mouth. The hulk of a man slithered closer to the petite blonde with a sleazy grin. Great, now Weasel would have to save her sorry ass.

"Well if you're looking for work, I could get you a steady wage." Jones said as he slapped her ass. A chuckle left his lips and no sooner was he holding his face and letting out a cry. Weasel never even saw it coming, but he certainly saw the woman shaking her hand out from clocking Jones.

"Bite it, chunky." She yelled, her glare now settled on the man. He remained doubled over for another second before standing up to glare at her. The petite blonde didn't even look fazed staring up at the beast of a man.

"Bitch!" He yelled, blood dripping from his nose as he grabbed at her. She was faster though, grabbing his jewels without mercy. Jones squeaked at the sudden intrusion, his back stiffening as regret swam in his eyes. Meanwhile Weasel and a few other patrons watched with disbelief.

"I dare you." She said slowly, her voice dropping another octave and a few other patrons gave a glance at the shrimp disarming the beast.

"I-I apolo- I apologize!" He said in a rush as she let him go. Jones stumbled away immediately, and the woman turned back to Weasel as though nothing had ever happened.

"I can pick up a rag and start any time." She insisted, and honestly after the display he had just witnessed Weasel didn't feel he was in the position of power anymore. He figured one chance wouldn't be bad, and so he tossed her a rag and shook his head.

"What's your name?" Weasel asked.

"Jenna." She replied. Weasel hesitated for a moment before throwing caution to the wind.

"Alright, let's see what you can do." He said, and almost regretted. Almost being the key word. The woman worked hard; which surprised him since she looked like she had crawled out of some Woodstock promo. He had to hand it to her, she worked like a rented mule. All while not looking bothered. She was definitely used to labor, and more than easily evaded men's oggles. She worked through the night without complaining, and Weasel knew he sure as shit would've bitched at least one at the workload. Halfway through the night he fired the other broad because she'd only returned once to the bar. He figured tonight would actually end well.

That is until that pain in the ass showed up.

"Weasel, looking suspicious as usual." Wade nodded to his friend. Weasel poured him his usual with a sneer.

"Wade, assholish as usual." Weasel replied. Jenna returned to the bar then. Instead of listing off an order though she just walked behind the bar and began to mix them herself. Wade gave a look, confused as to what was happening before his very eyes.

"Now what's a place like you doing in a lady like this?" Wade asked, sizing up the woman as she flipped her long curls out of her eyes to continue mixing. Weasel stood idly, glancing at her but otherwise not intervening.

"Working son, some people work good wholesome jobs but me?" She looked up to him and it was the first time he saw the intense green of her orbs. "I promote addictions."

With that she carried the tray off filled with drinks. Wade watched her as she left, eying the way her legs swung her hips smoothly. He turned back to Weasel, who stood there with a glare.

"Don't you dare." Weasel said immediately. Wade leaned back in his seat, clutching a hand over his heart in mock hurt.

"I didn't even say anything. I can't believe you would think such things of me." Wade said before Weasel leaned against the bar.

"She's probably the best worker I'm going to have. You start distracting her and I'm screwed!" Weasel insisted. Jenna returned shortly after, excusing herself to behind the bar to have a drink. Wade glanced at Weasel before a grin slipped onto his lips. Before Weasel could say anything more Wade turned to Jenna and smirked.

"So what brings you here? Recovered addict that just likes to watch the world burn?" Wade asked. Jenna glanced at him before raising a brow.

"Obviously, both my parents were just a mess." She said in a very lighthearted tone; her lips pouting in a childlike manner. Weasel rolled his eyes as he watched the entire thing unfold.

"Let me guess, daddy was a drunk, mommy was abused. Wow, you'd think this cliché would run dry with you millennials but no. You just gotta beat it one more for good measure." Wade mocked. Jenna narrowed her eyes before glaring at Wade.

"Plot twist. Daddy's just a dick and mommy was the alcoholic. Can't you tell?" She challenged. Wade didn't even bat an eye as he countered back.

"I could, didn't want to… offend you younger generations though. All sensitive to being offended and all." Wade said gently as Jenna gasped.

"I'm offended you think I was offended." Jenna said as she leaned closer to the counter.

"See? Real easy, especially when you decide to slum in places like these." Wade gestured to the bar. Jenna gave a glance around as she spoke.

"Sometimes I like to go to…. Exotic locations, you know?" She asked. Wade nodded, leaning in closer to her.

"I hear you. Bagdad, Thailand….. Jacksonville. Been all over." Wade said in such a nonchalant way that Jenna raised a brow.

"Wow, real prince over here. Hope my commoner blood doesn't tarnish you." She said with a smirk. Wade frowned.

"Oh it has. It offends me deeply too. However I have to be modest. I wasn't always this dashing prince you see before you." Wade mused. Jenna raised a brow.

"Oh? You mean you weren't always wearing a fur lined jacket? Is it actually a fashion choice?" She asked. Wade shook his head.

"No no. I did come tumbling out with the jacket. Did a number to my momma's uterus too. Poor gal was picking wool out of there for weeks." Wade said in a wistful tone.

"Let me guess, momma dies in this one." Jenna said. Wade eyed her up before shrugging.

"Don't know, she left right after I was born." He replied. Jenna laughed.

"My Momma left before I was born." She countered with a sadistic smirk. Wade narrowed his eyes and leaned closer.

"Was a shame really, she left me at the hands of my alcoholic daddy and molesting uncles. Left me all alone with them for hours. They would take turns doing what they called 'Pinning the tail on the donkey'. Oh and if you couldn't guess," Wade pointed to himself with and intense sorrow on his face. "I was the donkey and the tail was their fingers."

"Wow, you had it rough." Jenna said shaking her head.

"Right up the butt." Wade said shaking his head.

"But at least you had a place with familiar people. I had the circus. And trust me, the bearded lady ain't no lady." Jenna said bluntly. Weasel felt himself mentally coiling away from this conversation. He'd never seen someone throw back and forth with Wade like this before.

"I see." Wade said with mock sympathy. Jenna nodded before whispering.

"Huge penis." She said, gesturing about a foot and a half in length. "It's like a snake."

Wade paused for a moment after that and gave a small chuckle. He looked at the beauty before him and tried to figure out exactly what was happening. He couldn't piece it together, but he liked her. Something seemed sort of off though.

"Well if it's a snake you want to see I could show you a…. Modest gardner snake later tonight." Wade taunted. Weasel rolled his eyes, but to his surprise Jenna just wiped up the bar as she moved away.

"Sorry son, but I'm not a hooker." She said simply.

"Oh I wasn't intending to pay." Wade replied quickly. Jenna smirked at him but otherwise shook her head.

"No thank you." She said in a dismissive tone. Wade found himself defeated, and so he nodded to her before taking his drink, gesturing a cheers to her, and waltzing off. Weasel looked at her in surprise.

"You've got to be the first girl to turn down Wade Wilson. Wait, you're a lesbian right?" He asked. Jenna just laughed before picking up her tray and shaking her head. As she walked away from the bar she threw back a comment over her shoulder.

"Nah, I'm just too busy."

Busy she was. The night was high with customers, and while she technically was supposed to have another waitress Jenna handled herself fairly well. She was an absolute shrimp net to the hulking masses of men and most women towered over her. Weasel often had a hard time tracking her in the crowd what with her head barely passing anyone's shoulders.

Weasel wasn't the only male watching her though. Several had their eye on the tiny beauty. Watching as her too skinny frame wriggled between patrons and slipped around drunk fights. It definitely didn't go unnoticed that there was a new waitress at the bar. Although the display with Jones earlier seemed to keep wandering hands to themselves for the most part. Granted there were a few jostles when drunks slid into her. Jenna felt a bit bruised, but far from broken.

It was close to two in the morning and the bar was beginning to settle a little bit. People partnering up and leaving or passing out on the floor. Jenna was busy cleaning tables when she came across a table with a man still sitting there. He eyed her up as she cleaned the empty glasses in front of him. She glanced at him and caught his gaze. She felt herself go on alert from the sharpness of his gaze. He grinned at her.

"You're too pretty to be working here, girl." He said in a husky voice. Jenna slowed what she was doing as she gave him a questioning look.

"Where should I be working then?" She challenged. He was slow to respond before he smirked.

"Not sure, but not here." He said as he glanced at the bar where Weasel was counting cash at the register. She followed his gaze before looking back at him. "Though as a newbie you can't be making much money."

Jenna glanced him up and down quickly before trailing her eyes back up to his. She narrowed her deep forest green orbs before cocking her hip.

"What are you offering?" She asked.

"Simple blow, $100." He said slowly. Jenna laughed at him before shaking her head.

"Fuck off dude." She said while gathering the glasses and carrying them to the bar. The man wasn't done yet though as he yelled out after her.

"$300."

Jenna paused in her walking, biting her lip before turning to look at the guy. He didn't look very dirty, actually he looked pretty clean and suave. A bit on the chubbier side but nothing she minded. Mostly, he looked kind of lonely to her. So she didn't think he had any ill intentions.

She could also use the money. Really, really badly.

Jenna walked back over to him and, very quietly under her breath, she said, "Five minutes."

So he waited while Jenna went and quickly cleaned up the mess and told Weasel she would be back soon. She glanced at the man before nodding to the door. He smirked and followed her out the doors and into the back alleyway. They were alone, something Jenna sort of hoped wasn't the case. Granted she was kind of thankful. Considering she had never done this she was sort of happy nobody would see her make an ass of herself. She'd make it work, especially for $300. She could really use that money.

Once they were outside the man gently leaned against a wall, his eyes raking over her body freely. Jenna crossed her arms over her chest as she looked him over too, seeing a tent already built in his pants. She cringed inwardly, almost second guessing herself. Almost.

"Show me the cash." She said, trying to stay authoritative. It worked well enough as he smirked and pulled out a wad. She took in a short breath, taking a step closer as well. The man pocketed the cash again and closed the gap between them. He wasn't huge, just shy of six feet. Jenna looked down at his pants as she slowly knelt in front of him. The rocks from the street leaving odd dents into her knees, stinging them and likely to serve as a reminder later as to what she had done. However just as she was bringing her fingers to undo his jeans, albeit a bit slow and hesitant, she felt his fingers gently pat her head. Jenna flinched back, glaring scornfully at him.

"Don't touch me." She snapped, ready to leap away. The man didn't look bothered though, instead seeming even more empowered.

"See? Even wild girls like you will get on your knees for some cash." He commented. It sent Jenna reeling as she glared darkly at him. Quickly getting off her knees she took a step back.

"Well go fuck yourself then." She snapped and went to quickly turn away. The man had other plans though and grabbed her hair. Jenna squeaked as he yanked her back.

"I don't think so. We had a deal." He said in a controlled anger. Jenna swung and swiped at his eyes. She managed to just nick the side of one and made him flinch. The blonde took that moment to get away and rush for the door. Just as she made for it the large and heavy door swung open and none other than Wade Wilson stepped out. She ran full tilt into him and his fluffy fur coat before he glanced down at her and assessed the situation. Jenna felt like she had run into a brick wall the man was surprisingly solid under all that wool.

"Hey!" The duo heard as the guy rushed over. He stopped a ways away when he saw Wade. It only took a quick glance between the other man's cut eye and Jenna's pale face to realized what had happened. The taller man pushed Jenna behind him and raised a brow.

"I think we're done here." Wade said in his usual preppy voice. The man glared at Wade and went to take a step closer, btu Wade flourished a gun and casually pointed it at the man who immediately raised his hands in surrender and began to back off.

"W-We had a deal…. Ugh, sir." He said while glancing at Jenna. Wade nodded.

"Deals off." Wade said in the same tone. The man gave a sour look at Jenna before Wade caught his attention. "And if you don't leave you're going to have two more holes to be fucked in while you're in prison."

The man had made to argue but wasn't sure exactly what he was arguing. However after Wade loaded his gun the man immediately backed away until he turned and marched out of the alley way so briskly he put those 50 year old grannies at the gym to shame.

Once the threat had left Wade sheathed his gun back into his pants before turning to look at the trouble maker.

"You really are an awful hooker, are you new or something? I didn't think it was a difficult field to get into but there should be some screening with women like you waltzing in." Wade pouted, looking pretty disappointed. Jenna had opened her mouth to thank him for helping her, but one Wade had run his all she wanted was to kick him in the crotch.

"I'm not a hooker." She reminded him. Wade nodded.

"Probably not…." He began before getting awfully close to her. Jenna resisted to shrink into a small ball as he towered over her.

"…. But you are a minor."

* * *

 **Hello! Welome to Jigsaw and thank you for stopping by!**

 **Before you go any further there will be a few things you should know.**

 **Now as stated literallya t the end of the chapter, the main OC is a MINOR. Yes, she is only a minor. Now you may have also seen this story under the romane section. Possibly, I mean I haven't actually published it yet so maybe it is. Anyway, you should know that while my OC is paired with the lovely Wade Wilson there will be nothing happening while she is a minor. Wade is NOT a pedophile and I would never do that to him. (Granted he technically is because in the comics he was dating a 17 year old and that is kind of where I got the idea for this story.)**

 **However, AFTER the OC becomes of age expect an over seualized mess. There, i said it, no surprises. This story's outline has been written for YEARS. I actually saw Deadpool and then went home and immediately wrote this out that night. I wish I was joking but there was just soooo much potential. I hadn't written it because I wasn't sure it would be well recieved. However after a few years in theatre I have developed the 'fuck it, this is happening' attitude. Especially in the past month or so.**

 **Anyway, This story will contain a lot of seual jokes, Wade-ness, and Jenna's equally fucked up humor. There will be jokes at many people's expense, and I'm honestly just wanting to make an honest Deadpool fanfic. So if you like it, let me know and review! If you don't, well that sucks, but thanks for stopping by!**

 **For reference, this is taking place about 5 years before the start of 'Deadpool'. Wade is 32 turning 33 and Jenna is 17 soon 18. So yeah, juuuuust for reference. And one again, I got this idea because of the comics. I was searching females and came across Wade's relationship (I think it was copycat (his GF in the movie but she's a lot older there) but it's been a while so somebody correct me) so it is actually canon that Wade has se with minors (as much as I don't think he actually does but anyway) So enjoy!**

 **Cheers!**

 **Iland Girl**


	2. Chapter 2

**..**

 **JIGSAW**

 _'for those who can't find love. Fuck love, find crazy, your kind of crazy, and run with it.'_

 _Deadpool Copyright by Marvel (Obviously)_

 _Jigsaw Copyright (not really) by Iland Girl_

* * *

 **Chapter 2**

* * *

Jenna stared up at Wade with a flicker of fear.

He had said it, the one thing she had been trying to keep under wraps for so long. Most people had their suspicions considering how young she looked. Yet the majority didn't have the audacity to ask, and those that did usually backed down when she challenged them.

Wade raised a brow, knowing he hit the mark on that one the moment she clammed up. She probably fooled a lot of people, but there was just something off about her that bothered him all night.

"I-I'm not…" She began, but an eye roll from Wade had her halting her own words.

"Oh save it. You tried your best, but the jig's up kid. Now let's go tell Weasel he's committed another felony." Wade said while motioning for her to go back inside. She could hear him mutter under his breath while he did so. "Worst hooker ever."

Jenna was so ashamed she didn't even argue with him. Instead she made her way inside the bar and sat in one of the chairs quietly like a student waiting at the principle's office. She kept her head slightly down and her fingers laced in her lap. Worry for what would happen flitted through her imagination, and she wondered if she should make a run for it now. That dream was shot down too quickly as Wade came back with Weasel in tow. The bar was empty now, and Jenna felt acid fill the pit of her gut when she realized she was all alone with two men.

"Here I thought you were the smart kind of guy Weasel. Well, okay maybe smart was the wrong word. Crafty? Sneaky? Anyway, I thought you would've been smart enough to at least check her ID. Did you even bring one?" Wade asked. Jenna slowly fished out a small wallet from her pocket and produced her fake ID. Weasel took it before Wade rolled his eyes.

"Twenty Three? Please. If you were twenty three the fountain of youth must've been in your backyard." Wade teased. Jenna glared, her eyes narrowing.

"At least I don't outdate the history book, living fossil." She quipped back. Wade raised a brow, finding it rather amusing. Weasel was one part distraught and five parts frustrated. He was frustrated with Wade for causing such a scene and being, well, Wade. However he was also distraught that he had lost, yet again, another server. Probably his best one too.

"Look, kid, you can't be playing around like this. Do your parents even know where you are right now?" Weasel asked, looking at the alarmingly well done fake ID before handing it to Wade to look at. Jenna nibbled on her bottom lip without saying anything.

"How old are you anyway?" Wade asked, looking over the ID before looking to the real being in front of him. Jenna took in a breath before speaking.

"Seventeen. I'll be Eighteen in seven weeks," she said while trying to sit up straight. "I understand that what I did was wrong, but I really, really need this job."

The two men looked from her to each other before Wade shook his head. Jenna did her best puppy dog eyes as they glanced at her one more time. Both equal parts moved and annoyed by the tearful look she gave.

"This is all you." Wade said quickly, handing the ID to Weasel. The smaller man glared at the mercenary before turning back to Jenna. He paused for a moment before shaking his head and handing her back her fake ID.

"Sorry kid, but I can't have any minors hanging around her. Go home, see your family. Do… I don't know what. Do kid stuff." Weasel said. Jenna visibly deflated, but she nodded and took a breath.

"Millennial stuff huh? Guess I should start wearing yoga pants and talk about being a millionaire at twenty five. Maybe start a cupcake business." She said before standing up. Jenna looked to both the men before frowning softly. "Well, it's been…. Not fun, but weird. Goodbye."

With that, she left the bar, both men's eyes wandering after her.

Jenna dropped her insanely fake smile as she exited yet another establishment. She walked around the corner before parking it on the curb and sitting down with her knees tucked to her chest. That had been her fifth interview in the last three days, but nobody was really willing to hire such a shady looking girl who didn't have any background information. As far as any checks went on her she was practically invisible. It wasn't like Jenna was trying to purposefully not get a job, but it was insanely hard for her to do so.

Jenna took a breath before leaning back on the palms of her hands and letting her head drop back. She sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. She could swear the smell of pizza was strong right now, and the more she breathed deeply the better it smelled. Almost like it was right in front of her. At least, she would've realized it really was a slice dangling in front of her if she opened her eyes.

Finally a piece of cheese dangled and touched her nose. Jenna's eyes flew open and she ducked away out of surprise.

Wade Wilson stood there, a brow raised as he balanced a large pizza box in one hand while still offering the pizza to the small girl.

"You look down, pizza?" He asked as she gathered herself. Jenna took a breath in, smelling the aroma and feeling the saliva gather in her mouth on reaction. She went to take it, but Wade pulled his hand back suddenly. "Ah ah! I just want to know one thing."

Jenna deflated visibly much like that night in the bar. She stood up and dusted herself off before crossing her arms and glaring at the much larger man. Around them shops were beginning to close down for the evening and Jenna was painfully reminded that she had to find somewhere for the night and soon.

"What, Fossil?" Jenna challenged. Wade just shook his head.

"God you millennials and your attitude toward your elders," Wade dangled the pizza in front of the girl again. This gained her attention as she watched the cheese swing back and forth as it slowly stretched downwards. "I want to know why Mommy and Daddy still let you out of the house."

Faster than Wade could react Jenna swiped the slice from his hand. It surprised him when he saw her holding it carefully before looking up at him.

"Mom's dead, Dad's a dick." Was all that came from her mouth before she chomped down. Had he any room to judge he would've berated her terrible table manners as she practically inhaled the slice. He paused for a moment before offering her another. She reached out for it but paused to look him in the eye. Jenna expected something to happen, whether he pulled it away or dangled it further in her face. Yet when nothing happened she slowly took the piece and Wade watched her with mild concern. He'd noticed she was edgy whenever someone got to close, but this made him wonder what sort of attacks she'd had to deal with.

"Well, I guess I'm going to the bar now. They've got this new waitress. Kandy. Spelt with a K. She's….. Tasty… But not a very good server." Wade said as he began to walk backwards from the small girl devouring the slice of pizza. It had been her biggest meal all day and she was starving. She eyed him while he retreated, wondering what his game was.

"Well I can't see her name on any college applications." Jenna retorted between bites. Wade gave her a mock scolding look as he stopped.

"Hey, that's harsh. And besides, the best things in life need a more… Hands on approach." Wade said before waving that notion off as Jenna raised a brow. "Never mind, would hate to wreck that little innocence you've got there. There was a point to this story…. Oh right! The point is that the bar could use another server."

Jenna finished the last of her pizza before giving a look to Wade that questioned his sanity.

"You do realize Weasel hired and fired me within the same day, right?" Jenna asked rhetorically. Wade shrugged from side to side before gesturing to her.

"I know but…. Here's the thing. The bar is gunna be pretty packed tonight and, well, I'm sure Weasel would take any help right now. Not to mention you look like bait just dangling on a hook sitting out here in the dark." Wade said in a rather convincing tone. Jenna took in a breath and considered his words carefully. It couldn't hurt, considering the fact that Jenna had no other options to go with. The entire thing nagged at her though. This man lumbering around with a half eaten pizza bothered her.

"What do you want from me?" Jenna asked, and from the tone Wade could hear years of distrust nailed to her vocal chords. She saw him coming from a mile away and knew he was no good. She wasn't wrong, but Wade wasn't entirely willing to explain himself to her. After a quiet standoff Wade finally caved.

"So this girl, Kandy? She does this thing where she-" Jenna cut Wade off and held her hands out in defence.

"Nope, no thank you. Spare me the details and the images of Kandy blowing dust off your relics." Jenna said with a gesture towards his crotch. Wade fought back a smirk as he feigned hurt.

"That would've pained me, if I had a heart. But the thing is Kandy is tired after work, and she doesn't like her job." Wade slowed his speech near the end in an effort for Jenna to better understand. The small girl nodded, raising a brow and crossing her arms.

"So you want me to work so that Kandy works less and you can get laid?" Jenna asked. Wade paused, smiling at her before quickly nodding.

"Yep."

Jenna paused for a moment, thought about it, but ultimately shrugged.

"Okay." She said. Wade looked a little surprised before grinning.

"Okay?" He asked. Jenna rolled her eyes and shook her head. When she looked back to him there was a playfulness in her eyes, but she was definitely keeping up a defence.

"Okay, I'll go back," she pointed at Wade accusingly. "But if he kicks me out again you owe me more pizza!"

"Deal. And for that, you get another slice." Wade said while teasing the teenager by opening the pizza box again. Jenna walked up to him, but didn't take a slice right away. She just stood in front of him for a moment and looked him in the eye. He had soft eyes, considering how nasty he looked. Intimidating Despite his soft voice. Jenna wondered why such a kind eye belonged to such a horny old man.

Meanwhile Wade was curious of the kid too. He could see the cogs of her brain working a mile and minute and for a moment he expected to see smoke. Instead he could see the hard lines of silent furry in the girl's eyes, and he wondered if she was always like this. She'd be a pain in the ass at the bar, but something told him she needed this job more.

Jenna almost made him jump when she swiped the piece of pizza so fast he barely saw her. She smirked at his reaction before she began to walk towards the bar. Wade rolled his eyes and wondered if he'd just signed up to play babysitter. Taking his last piece of pizza, he tossed the box in a nearby trashcan before wandering beside the small girl on their way to the bar.

"You know I hear this pizzeria has a miniature brigade of vertically challenged individuals." Wade piped up while they walked. Jenna hummed in response as she ate. "So if this doesn't work out you could always try there. You'd fit right in. Ow!"

Wade hadn't been lying about the bar being busy.

By the time the two had waltzed in it was already loud and stuffy. Kelly was running around with drinks everywhere as Kandy flirted with any man who gave her a second glance. Weasel felt like screaming as he sprinted between putting drinks down for Kelly and for men who had sidled up to the bar. Needless to say it was a very busy 10pm and Weasel had his suspicions.

Not a minute after his thoughts left did he see the pain in the ass that caused the most trouble at the bar. Wade Wilson walked in with the jailbait right next to him. They made their way quickly up to the bar, with Jenna holding onto his jacket to not get separated in the throngs of barflies.

"Now I know what you're thinking-" Wade began as he near the bartender. Weasel shooed him off as he continued to serve.

"Not now Wade, I'm busy." Weasel said as he continued to serve. Things weren't going the greatest though as more than one angry patron had threatened to stab his eye out. It wasn't until Jenna hopped up onto and over the bar that he halted what he was doing. She tied up her hair and immediately started taking orders. Weasel caught her hand as she reached down for a glass and shook his head at her when she looked at him.

"No no! Out! Not you!" Weasel argued. However within seconds patrons were yelling at him.

"C'mon man! Let the lady serve!"

"She makes better drinks than you!"

More shouts came and Jenna gave Weasel a shrug and a grin before gesturing to the crowd.

"Your public awaits." She said. Weasel grimaced lightly before letting the girl go. She got to work immediately, working swiftly without complaint. It wasn't long before even the hardiest attendee was turning in for the night with satisfaction. Wade had remained to watch the entire thing pan out; well that and Kandy was almost done her shift.

Little did he know that Kandy wasn't feeling it tonight, and so Wade sidled up to the bar to have a night cap with a sigh. Weasel was wiping down the bar, looking over to where Jenna was cleaning tables and putting away chairs for the night. Wade glanced over to the rented mule for a moment too.

"It sure was busy tonight." Weasel commented. There was a pause before Wade nodded slowly.

"Funny, everyone seemed to think it was buy one get one tonight." Wade said as he looked to Weasel. The smaller man rolled his eyes at the other's antics.

"Can't imagine how that got around." Weasel commented while leaning against the bar. They both looked to Jenna again. "Seriously though Wade, a minor?"

Wade tutted as though to correct what Weasel had been saying.

"She'll be eighteen soon enough. I'm surprised, of all the things you're worried of getting caught for in this bar it's a minor. Don't you get one in a shitty bar start up kit?" Wade replied smartly as he looked to Weasel and polished off his drink before slapping it back down on the counter. Weasel shook his head before grabbing the glass He leaned down a bit to Wade and said in a lower voice.

"I wasn't talking about the bar." Was all Weasel said before he turned and began to clean up again. Wade backed up a bit in his seat. Confused, he turned to look at the hard worker, currently unaware that she had been the topic of conversation. He thought for a moment, shrugged, and then shook off what Weasel said as nothing more than verbal harassment.

After all, he wasn't that kind of asshole.

* * *

 **Oh Wade... If only you knew what I had instore for you...**

 **Hey! I'm super pumped that this story is being well received! I've got some seriously kinky ideas for this story int he future, and it somehow (despite being deadpool) is a story about growing up, and both Wade and Jenna have growing up to do in different ways.**

 **Thank you for stopping to read this, and I really hope the banter in well received. I tried to get into the mind of Wade Wilson, but let's admit it you don't have to tread too far into the looney bin to find his vip room. If anyone can think of other witty things for them to argue over, please, I would LOVE to hear it!**

 **Can't remember if I wrote it out but this is taking place around... Eh, close to 5 years before the start of Deadpool. So batten down the hatches guys! It'll be 20 chapters. So not very long at all. I'm trying to make their relationship realistic but there will be a few time skips!**

 **Not entirely sure what else I need to tell you but I feel the need to ramble... Cookies! Hooray!**

 **Cheers!**

 **Iland Girl**


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